My Dream
by Dare-Sonar
Summary: COMPLETE It shouldn't have happened. It was such a beautiful day, but none of them knew, because they were waiting for news from the doctor, waiting to see if she would be okay, waiting to see if she would ever wake... [GSR fic]new ending
1. Rude Awakening

TITLE: My Dream

SETTING: After the Season 4 Finale.

EXTENDED SUMMARY: A team member is attacked at a crime scene and while she is recovering, she struggles to accept the fact that her one chance of emotional recovery lies in the heart of a complete stranger... (G/S)

DISCLAIMER: Definitely don't own them.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, this was a _weird_ idea that came to me late at night, much like the boogieman, whispering the plot into my ear. New ending 10/17/04, made it more realistic thanks to that one review by ScienceGeek, who just wants to make it tough for me, lol.

* * *

1- "Rude Awakening"

_My dream, I never asked for you, but you came... I never wanted you, but I needed you..._

_

* * *

_

With a gasp that resonated through the room, Sara Sidle awoke, sweaty, into darkness. She had a dream, such an odd dream, about six sad faces above her, and looking down to see innocent blue eyes...

She rubbed her face with her hands and suddenly felt an odd, odd sensation in her torso, and noticed a weird, tugging feeling in her arm. She took her hand and slowly ran it up her arm to the crook of the elbow. She felt tape... and a needle digging into her arm.

She screamed. She started screaming and didn't stop.

* * *

It was dark when she awoke again. She didn't know how long she had slept, but she remembered figures coming to her room while she was screaming and the shot what felt like ice in her veins, and then she fell back to sleep. She was left with a throbbing headache in the darkness. 

She took a deep, calming breath, but it didn't help. She tried to stand up, but she felt weighed down... by weakness? For some reason she felt weak. She slowly started to panic again.

_Why am I here? What happened to me?_

She felt like a two ton weight was pressing down on her stomach. She started gasping as her heart began to thump painfully in her chest cavity.

_Don't scream, please don't scream. Don't panic, please God, don't scream..._

But she felt sick. She felt pressure. She couldn't breathe... She started to shake...

_I'm alone... I can't breathe..._

Right before she let loose to scream again, a hand reached out of the darkness and stroked her forehead. She didn't know who it was, but it immediately broke her scream while it was halfway up her throat. She slowly began to get control of her breathing, and suddenly, another wave of nauseous fatigue washed over her, and she was asleep before she could even ask a question.

* * *

Catherine opened the door to the hospital room number 6793 and was greeted by a familiar sight: a broken Gil Grissom sitting on the right side of the beautiful, sleeping Sara. He sat in the exact same position as before, grasping onto her cold, limp hand, staring at her blank face. It was still dark, but the sun was just beginning to rise. Grissom didn't even look up to see Catherine enter. 

"How long have you been here?" She asked, and he didn't need to answer her for her to know he had been there for over a day, waiting.

"She awoke last night, and she had another panic attack. She fell right back to sleep. It's good, because I don't know how bad it would be to sedate her again."

Catherine took a seat next to the bed and said, "She looks so peaceful."

"I miss the fire behind her eyes..." Grissom said sadly, then immediately noticed what he said and straightened up, as if to erase the moment of actual emotion.

"Cath?" It was Sara, and Catherine paused for a moment, as if to make sure she wasn't dreaming, then bent over the bed and said, "Yes, Sara, it's me."

"Oh my God, Catherine, why am I here? I feel weird."

Catherine paused for a moment, and said, "Well, what's the last thing you remember?"

"I had a dream... a long dream... about these innocent blue eyes..." It was at that moment she noticed Catherine's voice and the hand that was grasping her hands didn't match up.

"Gil?" She asked quietly, almost afraid that she was imagining him there, but he answered her with a squeeze of her hand and said, "Good morning."

She hated the fact that she immediately felt comforted by Gil's presence. She hated he had so much emotional control over her. She hated the fact he was so far away...

"What happened to me?"

* * *

"Oh, my dear little librarian. You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find you've collected nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays." -Harold Hill ("The Music Man") 


	2. Answers

2- "Answers"

* * *

"Sara," Grissom said through the darkness, and Sara wished she could see his face. His voice was shaky, quiet, unsure. He had to take a deep breath before continuing, "You were attacked. At a crime scene."

Sara sucked in a deep breath. She remembered when Catherine was attacked... that was ages ago... but she was fine in the end...

Catherine suddenly stood up, for no reason, and left the room. Little did Sara know it was to hide the tears that were streaming down her face...

"How?"

"The officer on scene suffered a rare seizure and collapsed, and you were the first on the scene... the murderer was hiding, and attacked you..."

"There is something you're not telling me."

Gil choked, not being able to find the right words, but continued on, saying, "He took a shovel... he bashed you across..."

He stopped suddenly, feeling sick, and feeling acidic anger boiling inside him. Sara, on the other hand, was feeling sick for herself. Slowly she reached up to touch her head, but she felt nothing. Just normalcy.

"Gil?"

He said nothing.

"Why is my head fine?"

In his silence, she felt cold fear icing its way through her veins, like the sedative, but in reality it was much, much worse...

"Gil, why is-"

"You were comatose."

Sara exhaled sharply, and her mouth formed the first word to the question she was dreading the most, but Grissom answered it.

"Three years, Sara. It's been three years."

With that, Sara leaned back and took a deep, calming breath. She hadn't noticed, but the entire time Gil had been holding her hand. She was shaking. She felt cold. So many emotions, feelings...

She rubbed her face again, and said, "Well, okay... um... three years. Wow."

Catherine returned to the room, and sat down, and just broke down, "Sara, that night... the night I got the call, I was so scared. We stood by your bed for weeks, but nothing happened... the doctor said you would be like this forever."

Suddenly, anger surged through Sara, and she even surprised herself by saying, "How could you do that? Just leave me like this? I would rather die than..."

"Your parents."

That shut Sara up.

"They kept you on life support. They were the ones that decided you should keep the-"

Grissom coughed suddenly, and Catherine said, "She doesn't know?"

Sara gripped onto Gil's hand harder, "What? I don't know what?"

It was then that the stress, the stress of three years of unemotional attachment, of straining himself, of regretting, Gil finally felt a tear slide down his cheek. Sara could faintly see it in the predawn lights.

"I visited you every week... and eight months ago... a new nurse was assigned to your ward... he seemed nice, I met him several times... it wasn't until two months later I noticed the bruising... the familiar bruising..." He took a deep, shaky breath, and continued on.

"It took another month of me complaining to even get the hospital to notice what I already knew..." His voice flashed in a rare moment of anger, but then he grew sad again as he said, "And by the time they led an investigation and set up hidden cameras, it was too late..."

Sara's heart stopped beating as the truth of the situation hit her. With the same shaky hand she used to feel her head, she reached down to her stomach. She touched it gently, and gasped.

_I'm pregnant._

* * *

Warrick Brown was investigating odd ligature marks on a Jane Doe in the light of the morgue when his cell phone rang.

Nick Stokes was slowly tweezing and odd fabric sample off of the cadaver in a house in the suburbs when his cell phone rang.

Greg Sanders was working his first solo arson case when his cell phone rang.

She was awake.

* * *

Catherine had left to go get food, leaving Grissom and Sara together. Sara was sitting up, drinking water, and desperately trying not to throw up. After the sun had risen, Grissom noticed Sara didn't touch her belly, or even look at it. She had been exceptionally quiet.

"So, what's happened?"

Grissom lifted his eyebrows, "Well, we found the murderer who hurt you, the second person on the scene killed him, so after your surgeries, we made Greg a CSI as a replacement."

"Really?" Sara said, and smiled for the first time since she awoke. The thought of Greg as a CSI was funny. He was always the lab tech; it was weird to think of him as anything else.

"He's already a Level Two. He's so much better than any of us could hope, but he could never replace..." Gil caught his words in his throat and wrung his hands together nervously. Sara smiled her slow smile, and Gil finally looked at her straight in the eyes.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

Before she could answer, the door opened and everyone filed in cautiously. It took them a moment to register that Sara was fully awake, and when they did they all, in unison, sighed in relief and smiled. Everyone was crying.

After hugs all around, everyone sat down and was followed by an awkward silence. They were so used to Sara being unconscious; it was weird to see her alert. She smiled a smile then said, "So, CSI Sanders, I have to say I've heard good things."

Greg blushed in a very unlike himself move and said, "Yeah. You called me out of my first solo arson case."

Sara smiled bigger, "Oh, sorry. If I would've known, I definitely would've waited."

They all laughed and began a low conversation. Slowly but surely everyone left, and Sara was alone.

Well, not exactly alone.

As the sun sank down into the Vegas skyline, Sara slowly reached out and touched her stomach.

"Hello, my name is Sara... it's good to meet you..." She whispered.

* * *

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music" -Aldous Huxley


	3. The Downward Spiral of Sara Sidle

3- "The Downward Spiral of Sara Sidle"

* * *

The next day, Sara awoke to a nurse cleaning her room. It was a female, Sara noticed, and she greeted Sara with a smile and a big "Good morning."

Sara swung herself around while the nurse was turned and attempted to walk over to the bathroom. She pushed herself off the bed and hHer legs collapsed underneath her.

The nurse ran over to her and said, "No, Miss Sidle! What do you think you are doing?!" She ran over to her and flipped her over, and began feeling her head and stomach.

"Why can't I walk?" Sara asked, lying on the floor as tears came to her eyes.

"Miss Sidle, as for anyone who is comatose for as long as you were, your ligaments and tendons have shortened. It will take intense physical therapy and perhaps surgery to get you walking again."

Sara's tears flowed, mostly out of frustration. She had only been awake for three days, but she felt the full effect of being in the same bed for three years weighing down on her. Or perhaps it was the fact she was eight months pregnant. Sara had never felt so helpless, as she, like an old woman, needed to be led over to the bathroom and was helped to use it.

That is when the downward spiral of Sara Sidle began.

* * *

Slowly but surely, Sara's life began to sink into depression. After her attempt to walk, her doctor came in and told her calmly that because of the baby, they couldn't take her into surgery until after the baby was delivered.

Also, Sara had to adjust to the new life of pregnancy. By this late into the pregnancy, many women were adjusted to the constant changes that their body held. Sara wasn't. Every pain, every kick of the baby made Sara feel violated. She had never asked for this close stranger. She felt oddly disconnected. As if she was just a holding case to another's baby. A surrogate.

The feeling of constant helplessness was the biggest adjustment. There were tests all the time, and each time Sara had to be loaded into a wheelchair, pushed to the room, and was constantly evaluated and poked and prodded.

About a week after she awoke, she received a call from Channel 18 KYLV. They had covered her accident and the moral battle that followed. He told her about the protests of people for and against euthanasia. He told about her parents touching news conference where they tearfully told the press to "not kill my baby." They were the first to lead a special investigative report into hospital safety after finding out she had been getting raped by the male nurse, who seems to have no name. They asked for an interview.

"Before I accept or decline the interview, can I see tapes of all these things? Do you have tapes?"

"Of course," The man on the other end said compassionately. "We'll have someone personally deliver them today." After exchanging information, Sara nervously hung up the phone and waited.

Was she ready to see this? All that had happened in her controversial case? She took a deep calming breath and unconsciously stroked her stomach, but suddenly noticed and her hand recoiled.

The man entered about three hours later and handed her a box marked "Channel 18 KYLV-Sara Sidle Tapes and Specials/Euthanasia, Hospital Safety, Moral Issues." Sara beeped a nurse to put it in the VCR, and she pressed the play button.

* * *

Pixistix: I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.  
Pixistix: If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice. Problem 


	4. Channel 18 KYLV

4- "Channel 18 KYLV"

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to Channel 18 KYLV. It is June 14th, 2004, currently 9:03 p.m. and 62 degrees. On today's show, Las Vegas Fire Marshall says this summer, though wetter, we still have forest fire risks, so we will bring you the top five fire prevention tips for the summer. Also, a new movie began filming on the Strip today, traffic suffered. Also, the story of a Las Vegas investigator who was attacked while on the job."

The tape went blank, and then opened up with a reporter standing outside a building that didn't look familiar at all. "Thank you, Janette. I am standing outside a double crime scene on the outskirts of Las Vegas. It was a beautiful day in late May when police and crime scene investigators were called to this homicide scene. A police officer, first on the scene, cleared the house but then suffered a rare, genetic seizure and died on scene. A crime scene investigator arrived and was attacked by the murderer who had never left the scene. Details are still being kept by police officers, but sources tell us here at KYLV that the murderer is dead and the crime scene investigator is in critical condition. More as events warrant. This is Joaquin Owens, for Channel 18 KYLV."

It went blank. Another tape was put in the VCR. Instead of starting on the beginning of the newscast, it started at a press conference. Sara immediately recognized her mother and father sitting amid the camera flashes.

Her parents had always been the hippie types. Sara still remembers early mornings at their Bed and Breakfast on Tamales Bay near San Francisco. Her parents were always so carefree, living in the moment. She hated that. She could never really meet her parents halfway... mainly because they never bothered to try. She loved her parents, but disliked them as people.

"Mrs. Sidle, what do you think about the pro-euthanasia rallies near the hospital with your daughter?"

Her mother paused, and then said, "Our daughter is comatose, and the doctor tells us... that she'll never wake. But we know that she can hear us. We talk to her, and she can hear us. She is a living, breathing human being, and pulling the plug will be murder. Please don't kill our baby."

Sara rolled her eyes in anger. The screen went blank, and then turned back on. It almost made Sara throw up.

It was a picture of her parents hovering over her body. Sara's head was covered in bandages. Her heart monitor beeped annoyingly. Her father had his head covered with his hands. Her mother wept at her side.

It was that moment when Sara saw a new thing: her parents being actual parents. Her mind was torn. On one hand, she had the parents she had grown up with, absorbed in themselves and the business, not in their kin. Then again, they could be changed. They could.

Sara frowned and continued watching the many TV shows into the night. Most were just tiny tidbits about her recovery, and eventually, the time in between segments grew longer, until six months ago, January. When Grissom finally got the hospital to notice.

"This is Joaquin Owens for KYLV Channel 18. I come here in a sober note in front of a local, Las Vegas hospital. After investigation into the critical care ward, we have found a male nurse by the name of Terrance Ventura had been sexually assaulting a comatose victim who has not been named. Sources tell us- Oh! Here he comes now, he has been arrested."

Sara leaned in closer to the TV as it showed a picture of police officers leading a tall, attractive man down the steps of the hospital. He had tears in his eyes as he was shoved into a cop car. The reporters all sagged in disappointment, and while the camera struggled to find someone to question, a picture flashed across the screen. Grissom could be seen exiting the hospital. His face was tear stained, and he looked so... helpless. It was the first time Sara had ever seen him cry. She paused the tape and looked deep into his eyes. He gave away nothing.

Sara quickly wiped the tear away that threatened to spill onto her chest. She felt so disconnected, like the comatose woman on the screen was someone else. The screen went blank again.

It was almost an information overload. Sara suddenly couldn't take anymore. She paused it on the black screen and took some deep, calming breaths. It didn't help. At all.

There was one more tape left. The one, undoubtedly, talking about her pregnancy. She couldn't bring herself to call the nurse in to play it.

That night, she had a dreamless sleep.

* * *

When she awoke the next day, she was met by the same doctor she always saw, but today there was a new doctor right next to him.

"Sara, this is Mary LeGrand, your physical trainer. We are going to start you stretching your muscles to prepare you for surgery. Unfortunately, we cannot anesthetize you while you're pregnant, so we decided to get a jump start on the training."

Sara practically jumped (figuratively) at the chance to get out of her hospital room for a reason other than tests, but that night, while lying in her bed crying because it hurt so badly, she finally grasped how much her life would never be the same.

She cried herself to sleep that night.

* * *

mdiym42 : note to self  
mdiym42 : make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start 


	5. Feel the Sun

5- "Feel the Sun"

* * *

Slowly, time passed and the due date of the baby grew closer. Sara's parents had come and already left in a meeting that involved a lot of yelling. Sara continually sunk into a depression that was secretly tearing her up. She could hide it well when she had visitors, but she could never, no matter how hard she tried, hide her depression from Gil.

One day, Gil walked into her room and said, "Get up, we're leaving."

Sara snapped her head around to him. "Excuse me?"

Gil seemed pretty irked at something. "The doctors think you should remain in the hospital, but I can't let them keep you trapped in here. You need to see the outside."

_Y'know__, for a guy who never knows how I feel, he sure knows how I feel. _

"Gil, I'm fine, honestly..." He fixed her with a disbelieving and very stern stare that made her fall silent. A nurse came in and walked her to the bathroom and helped her change into some normal clothes. She was so excited that she would be leaving the hospital that it took her a moment to realize she what she was dressing in. It was a soft, worn UCLA sweatshirt and dark green maternity pants. Catherine's. But Catherine never went to UCLA...

While the nurse settled her into the wheelchair, still in the bathroom, she lifted the too long sleeves and pressed them to her face and inhaled. A comforting scent... it was Gil's shirt. Of course it was.

The nurse wheeled her out and she saw her physical therapist arguing with Grissom.

"Mr. Grissom, I understand you care for Miss Sidle's well being, but she needs to stay-"

"No!" Gil said, a whole lot angrier than Sara had ever seen before, that includes the time he checked his pulse, "You're wrong, because if you truly understood about Sara's well being, you would allow her out of this dark room, this prison, the exact same room she was raped in!"

That's when Gil, red in the face and very pissed off, spun around, gently but forcefully grabbed Sara's wheelchair handles and he said, "Here's my card, that's my personal number. She is going to be stay in a hospitable environment until the baby comes or else she will slowly sink into a depression she will have no hope of ever climbing out of!"

"Mr. Grissom! She has been showing no signs of-"

"If you knew the Sara Sidle I do, you would know she is the most independent woman in the world, and the fact that she woke up, three years stolen from her life and not able to walk, not even to mention very pregnant, could be the drastic change that will very well kill her! Now, I am taking her to a normal environment, and if any one of you begs to differ, then I suggest looking back at the last time I cared about Sara's well being, and to see _how well you guys solved that problem._"

He finished the sentence in a low, threatening hiss that shut the psychical therapist and the nurse into a silent stupor. With a deep breath, he wheeled her out of the room and over to the elevator. The physical therapist and nurse continued to stare, scared, as the elevator doors shut, leaving Gil and Sara in the silent elevator.

"Shit." Gil said.

"I'm sorry?" Sara asked, surprised.

"I don't know what I just did. I just suddenly had this really strong urge to get you out of this hospital, so I just came over here and did it. Catherine's out of town for two days, and I can't leave you at your house..."

_Uh-oh, I have an odd feeling I know where this is going..._

Gil fell silent.

"Unless, of course, you would rather stay at Greg's."

Sara burst into a short bout of laughter, and the tension broke as the elevator doors opened and Sara finally felt the sun on her face for the first time in years...

* * *

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach


	6. You Promised Me

6-"You Promised Me"

* * *

After the hospital outburst, Gil loaded Sara into his car and started driving.

"So, what do you want to do?" Grissom asked, back to his calm and collected self. Sara took a deep sigh and said, "What do you people do in the year 2007?"

Gil gave her a slight smile, "We go to lunch."

She smiled, and he pulled up outside a small restaurant called "Morning Sun". The day before her accident, she had gone there. It was weird, like Sara had just been there last month.

He unloaded her and sat her outside at a table with two menus. He sat across from her and smiled at her as she closed her eyes and let her face absorb the April sun. The waiter came over, a teenager, as he kneeled down to be eye level with the two as he said, "What can I get you guys?"

Sara smiled her odd smile, "I'll have the house soup." She turned her gaze to Gil. "I'm pretty sure I can keep it down."

Gil smiled his intelligent smile back at her, and then said to the waiter, "I'll have the hamburger."

"Okay, I'll get that right out to you guys. What about drinks?"

"I'll have the lemonade."

"You can bring me some chamomile tea." That was Grissom, and Sara shot him a look. "So what? You're a _tea_ guy now?"

"I had to cut out the coffee on the count of... health issues..." His voice drifted off awkwardly, and Sara lifted an eyebrow. Grissom paused for a moment. It would be so easy to shrug off this issue, like in the past... but he had promised her, while in her sleep, that he would never do that again...

"Gil, you promised me." The words were out of her mouth before she could process what she had just said. Grissom's eyes widened.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I... I don't know what just happened... it's just... knowledge that I have... it's just... wait. _You promised me?_" Sara was incredulous. Gil looked very, _very _uncomfortable.

He paused. _He's not going to tell me. He's going to just brush it off, always like-_

"I was having nightmares. My doctor cut out caffeine and other stuff..." Gil fell silent, tense at the sudden pouring out of emotions. He looked so out of character that Sara didn't press the issue at all. He did look thinner, now that Sara was looking. A little ragged.

Curiosity carried the conversation to life around her old friends and work. Archie had married the new lab tech, a nice lady named Janine. Gil said going into the lab was like stepping into a sick romantic comedy. They were always kissing and stuff. Greg had been loving life as a CSI, he even volunteered at the Big Brothers, Big Sisters down in Las Vegas. Warrick and Catherine were an obvious thing now. Lindsey was a "severe teenager," and Nick had been dating the same woman for six months, which around the lab, was a very big thing.

Their lunches came and smelling the hamburger sent the baby into a fit of sorts.

"Sara? Are you feeling okay?"

Sara was gripping onto her stomach. "I feel... fine... can I have a bite of that hamburger?"

Gil stared. "Sara, you're a vegetarian."

A mood swing swung into action, "Well, the kid's not. Give me the hamburger."

With a look of true fear on his face, Gil handed her the hamburger and she took it and bit into it with renewed vigor. Gil's eyes were like round Petri dishes as she chewed and swallowed. She handed it back to him and smiled. They were left in a silence, but then Gil smiled at her and lifted his brow, so she admitted, with a look of disgust on her face: "I... I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Let's leave." Gil said quickly, throwing money down and wheeling her away.

* * *

They came to a stop in a local park. Gil pushed her onto the grass and he sat her next to a bench near a playground full of kids.

"Do you want to lie in the grass?" He asked, and she smiled and said, "Sure."

After a moment's struggle, Sara and Grissom were in a heap on the grass, Grissom had fallen backwards due to Sara's girth. After the dust cleared, Sara was on top of a struggling Grissom.

"Do me a favor." Grissom wheezed.

"What?"

"Remind me to never do that again."

She smiled again, and Grissom's world dissolved. After she had awakened, there had been few moments when she smiled, so whenever she did, he felt just as wonderful. She rolled off of him and leaned back in the grass.

"This feels great, so much better than sterile sheets..." She drifted off and watched all the kids. Gil did the same.

A child ran up the stairs to the playground, into a tube, and he popped out with a shriek. He ran across a bridge and jumped into a slide, disappearing for a moment only to reemerge at the bottom. A little girl had spent fifteen grueling minutes building a sand castle in the sandbox only to have her brother knock it down. Two other girls were involved in a faraway, fantasy world. Three boys were playing an intense game of tag.

"I have to ask you Sara..."

"Of course not, Gil. I can't keep this kid."

* * *

Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.

-"Naked Gun: From Files of Police Squad!"


	7. It Shouldn't Have Happened

7-"It Shouldn't Have Happened"

* * *

The baby's due date came and went, and Sara, still living at Grissom's, even though Catherine was back in town, was getting more and more irritable during the day. Her mood swings were killer.

Catherine was sleeping at home on Saturday night, minding her own business, when the phone rang. It was 2:00 in the morning.

"If this is one of Lindsay's friends, I swear to God I will go crazy and I will take you with me." Catherine said sleepily into the phone.

"Cath?"

She stood up, stiff, in her bed. "Gil? What's wrong? Is Sara okay?"

He was whispering, "I think she's going to kill me."

"What did you do this time?"

"Oh, it's automatically my fault? The fact her body is hopping with enough hormones to sink the Titanic couldn't possibly figure into the equation at all?" His comment made Catherine realize the gravity of the situation: Grissom was using and showing _emotion_. Actually using impossible_ analogies_. Lord forbid some _sarcasm_.

"What's happening?"

"We were watching TV when this ad for a Christian thing came on involving a baby and she..." Gil paused, the memory still fresh in his mind, "_She started to cry._"

"She did _what_?"

"And when I tried to comfort her, she went _berserk_, and as a scientist, I don't use that word lightly, and locked herself into my bathroom. I need you Cath. I can't just go to sleep with her in my bathroom. I can't sleep at all knowing she could murder me at any time. I can picture the crime scene now... Knowing Sara, you'll be logging in _bags_ filled with fragments of my remains..."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "I'm coming."

"Oh, thank God."

* * *

Gil opened the door and Catherine, almost as pissed as Sara, pushed past him and headed towards the bathroom. He could distinctly hear her mutter "_men_" with a growl.

"Sara? I'm coming in." She said to the door, and she grabbed the skeleton key from Grissom, opened the door and slammed it, before Gil could see Sara inside. He threw his hands up to the closed door, ticked off because he couldn't help.

Meanwhile, inside, Catherine was ready for attack of the pregnant woman, but all she saw was Sara, sitting huddled in the corner, crying quietly. She had managed to get out of her wheelchair and push it against the door.

Catherine immediately bowed down. "Sara, what's wrong?"

Sara looked up at her. "Oh, everything!" She sobbed, totally broken. "I can't walk, I can't live on my own... I can't do _anything..._"

Catherine sat next to her and grabbed some toilet paper and wiped Sara's eyes in a maternal fashion. "Sara, you'll walk again soon. After the baby-"

With that, Sara began to cry louder. They were real tears, though.

"Cath..." She finally stopped and looked right into Catherine's eyes. "I am so scared."

They hugged, and Catherine muttered some soft words of comfort, quieting Sara down some.

"I know you're scared. The bastard left you in a crappier situation than most single mothers. I know you're strong enough to pull through this, though."

"I can't believe I'm scared of _this._ Brave Sara Sidle crying in the bathroom."

"Oh, give me a break. You're allowed to be scared, Sara. I was scared when I had Lindsay, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Everyone is scared, and imagine how scared Gil was when he found you at the crime scene..."

"Wait," Sara said, shocked. "What?"

Catherine stared at her intensely. "He never told you?"

"What?"

Catherine's eyes immediately filled with tears and she covered her mouth in shock. "I can't believe he never told you..."

"Told me what?"

With a shaky voice, Catherine told her.

* * *

_It never should have happened._

_It was such a beautiful day; it seemed like nothing bad could have happened._

_But it did._

_Grissom was there. He could never forget hearing her screams._

_He jumped out of his car and removed his gun from its holster and ran in the direction of the screams. It was deep inside the mansion. There was the sound of a gunshot, then another. Fear iced its way around Grissom's heart as he ran as fast as he could. He was running so fast, trying to get to her. Every step was too slow as the third gunshot rang out. Grissom reached the door and saw it._

_Sara was bloodied, holding her gun out, backed up in the corner, and before Grissom could raise his gun, the stranger lifted the shovel, the same shovel Sara was processing minutes before, and bashed her on top of her head. She crumpled to the ground._

_Anger rose in Grissom like he had never felt before. It ate away his heart as he lifted the gun and shot, point blank, in the man's back. The first shot killed him definitely, but Grissom didn't stop. The body fell to the ground and Grissom kept shooting until his entire clip was emptied into the body. He threw his gun to the side and ran to Sara's body._

_He was sure she was dead. The force of the blow knocked her skull into three big pieces on top, an indent pressing against her brain. The amount of blood was incredible! Grissom quickly called an ambulance and was left, alone, holding onto her. The only woman he had ever loved now lay dead in his arms. It was then, alone in the silence, Gil started to weep, crying from the strain and personal anguish of seeing it, over and over, replaying in his mind, the shovel crashing down onto her skull. If he had only run a little faster... he could have reached her._

_He leaned over and kissed her hand, which was growing cold under his. He felt for a pulse; but he knew there was nothing to feel for._

_"Sara, my beautiful angel, I never had a chance to tell you how much I truly love you..." And he never did, as the paramedics ran in and carried her away._

_The story that was told afterward was legendary. They shocked her all the way to the hospital, but her body didn't react, and when they were wheeling her into the hospital, they weren't in a hurry. She was dead. They pushed her to the morgue. She was actually getting her body tag tied onto her toe when her heart started beating again._

_The surgeon decided that, because of the brain swelling, they were going to take a section of her skull off and let the brain swell outwards. It was risky, but it worked. The swelling eventually went down and they set to work rebuilding her damaged skull. After many reconstructive surgeries, all they could do was wait._

_And they waited for three years._

* * *

Grissom paced the bathroom door outside, prepared to wait all night, but suddenly, his doorbell rang.

He looked at the clock. It was 2:30 in the morning. Visiting hours were definitely over.

He walked to the door and opened it, a suspicious look on his face.

"Who the_ hell_ do you think you are taking _our_ daughter away from the hospital?"

Grissom's jaw dropped.

* * *

Carter: This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer.

-"Rush Hour"


	8. He Would Have Waited Forever

8-"He Would Have Waited Forever"

* * *

"So..." Sara asked, breathless even though she wasn't moving, "He _killed_ him?"

Catherine nodded. "I was second on the scene, I got there two seconds before the ambulance. Oh Sara..." She closed her eyes, as if seeing it again. "It was terrible."

Tears came back to Sara's eyes. What an emotional roller coaster...

"Is that why... he started to have nightmares?"

Catherine nodded, "After your accident he took a month long vacation... can you imagine? I have no idea where he went, but when he came back, he hasn't touched coffee since. Said it was health issues... but Sara, we all had nightmares... and when you wouldn't wake up, and when your parents left... we could do nothing but wait..."

Tears came to Catherine's eyes again. "He really loves you. You know that, right? He came to your bedside every week... if you had never of woken up he would have waited there forever."

Of course she knew.

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Sidle, let me assure you that taking Sara out of the hospital was for her own benefit. She was depressed! I could tell-"

"So, are you a _doctor_, Mr. Grissom? You suddenly just know when our baby should be taken out of the hospital? You just-"

"I had every intention-"

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened and Sara wheeled herself out, her eyes bloodshot and puffy, looking as if being in Grissom's house was the last thing she ever needed. She paused when she saw her parents sitting on the couch, across from Gil.

"Mom? Dad? What... what are you doing here?"

"Oh Sara baby! I was so worried!" Mrs. Sidle jumped up from the couch and ran over to her daughter, and hugged her. Sara, shocked beyond movement, suddenly processed what she was doing and threw her mother off of her.

"What are you _doing_ here, Mom?"

"Sara?"

That was Catherine. Everyone spun around to look at the bathroom door.

"What?"

"Please tell me this is a pool of _tears_ that I slipped in."

It took a moment for the room to process what Catherine had just said.

"Oh, _shit!_" Sara said, looking down.

* * *

The trip back to the hospital was killer. Grissom sat in the front seat, driving the SUV with a stressed, stony look engraved on his face. Sara was huffing and puffing in the passenger seat, trying to ignore the three people in the back, who were shouting out contradicting advice to slow her labor down.

"Breathe deeply, Sara. Calming breaths in and out-"

"Breathe fast, like Lamaze classes! Hoo hoo hee hee." That was Mrs. Sidle breathing as an example.

"Sure Mom, like during the coma I had time to go to Lamaze classes." Sara wheezed out, gripping onto her stomach in pain. Catherine and Mrs. Sidle began to have a huge argument over breathing in the back, and Mr. Sidle sat in between them, a blank look on his face. The argument grew louder and Sara leaned over and whispered, "Gil, unless you want placenta as the new décor in this car, I suggest you start _breaking the speed limit._"

Gil hit the gas hard, causing everyone in the back to fly back into their seats, causing the argument to cease and for both the mothers in the back to yell, "_What are you doing?_" in unison. Mr. Sidle still had the blank look on his face, though Sara saw a small smile developing.

They screeched to a halt outside the emergency room door and Mr. Sidle and Gil put Sara in the wheelchair and Gil pushed her in and yelled to the nurse at the front desk, "We've got a baby coming!"

"Miss Sidle!" The nurse squeaked out, obviously not used to such stress. She actually jumped over the desk and grabbed the wheelchair from Grissom, and wheeled her to the elevator. All four followed her, but they stopped at the door when the nurse snapped, "No one is allowed up to surgery. This will be a cesarean section and we have to keep the room _sterile_."

All four began to protest as the doors shut, but the nurse fixed them all with an unyielding stare that shut them all up. The doors shut, whisking Sara up two floors but left Catherine, Gil, and Mr. and Mrs. Sidle full of adrenaline in the waiting room of the hospital.

"But we're _family members_." Mrs. Sidle kept saying, as if sharing chromosomes with Sara gave her an automatic back stage pass. "We should be allowed to see her."

Gil was nervous, God was he nervous. He kept pacing back and forth, not leaving the elevator, even after Mr. Sidle led Catherine and Mrs. Sidle away to sit down. After five minutes of watching him pace, Catherine got up and grabbed his arm.

"Gil, she's going to be fine."

"What do I do? What can I do? I feel so helpless."

"All we can do is wait.... again."

* * *

Warrick was sound asleep, snoring away in his condo when, in his dream, he could have sworn he heard a doorbell ring.

He stood up in bed, muttering, "Defense!" but suddenly he realized where he was and that his doorbell was actually ringing. With a grunt, he staggered over to the door and looked through the peephole and practically choked. He saw Greg, hyper as always, jumping up and down. He was saying something to Nick, who was there also, but Warrick couldn't tell what was being said. Jim was there, too, surrounded by the two hyper men, with a ticked off look on his face.

Suddenly, Greg started pounding away at the door, looking through the wrong end of the peephole.

"Warrick, sleeping beauty, WAKE UP! Sara's gonna have the baby!"

* * *

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes."


	9. My Dream

Dare-Soñar: I've updated the ending to make it more realistic, thanks to ScienceGeek, who is _way_ too smart, lol. I didn't really like the original ending anyway. Updated and edited 10/17/04.

* * *

9-"My Dream"

* * *

Jim, Greg, Nick and Warrick practically fell into the emergency room in a heap. Jim, being the only sane one in this moment, yelled, "One at a time! _One at a time!_" way too late. Archie and Janine, his wife, ran in next, and tripped over Greg's misplaced foot, causing them both to go sprawling across the hospital floor. All the people waiting in the emergency room stopped suddenly, watching the newfound entertainment. Doc Robbins hobbled in next, and paused as he saw the heap of lab techs, CSIs and one policeman on the floor. He shrugged and made his way over to Gil and Catherine and Sara's alarmed parents.

"What's happening?"

The crowd from the lab walked over, too, totally silent, waiting to hear Gil's answer.

"She's undergoing a C-section now, and all we have to do is wait."

Everyone fell silent. Everyone, wanting to sit near the elevator, sat down on the floor close to Catherine and Gil. Doc Robbins sat in a chair next to them, and Warrick, Nick and Greg sat in the back row, and Archie and Janine sat in front. Everyone was facing the door, totally silent. Some doctors walked by and slowed down, watching the huge crowd who were staring hard at the elevator door. They left quickly.

An hour passed, and boredom took over. Greg, along with Nick and Warrick, started a somewhat violent game of slapjack with the cards Greg had brought. Gil was still staring at the doors, Archie and Janine had fallen asleep on the floor, and Al was even fighting to remain awake. Catherine and Mrs. Sidle had fallen asleep and were leaning on each other, and Mr. Sidle had magically obtained a newspaper and was reading silently.

Another hour passed, and Nick, Greg, and Warrick had succumbed to sleep as well, Greg was still clutching onto his poker hand. Mr. Sidle had fallen asleep too, leaning back on his wife, causing Catherine's head to fall back onto Gil's shoulder. Al was snoring away, and the only person awake still was Gil, still nervously watching the door. It opened, and a doctor came out. He jumped at the sight of the lab mob snoozing away, but he saw Gil and motioned him over.

Gil jumped up immediately, causing Cath to fall further backwards to lay her head on Al's knee. It was six o' clock in the morning.

"Doctor?"

"Well, Sara and the baby are both fine. She's still a little out of it, so the baby is getting cleaned up. She asked for you, though." He looked over Gil's shoulder to see the entire slumbering lab and her parents.

"Are these people her family?"

Gil turned around to look at everyone drooling away.

"Yep. The extended Sidle family." Gil smiled.

* * *

Gil cautiously entered the hospital room, where Sara was lying in an all-too familiar position. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Well, that was an adventure, huh?" She smiled at him as he sat down next to her. He nodded, "I love how your parents are so... compassionate..."

She laughed, but paused because it hurt. "Well, you can't pick your parents..."

She reached over and grabbed his hand.

"Gil, I never had a chance to thank you for all you have done for me."

"Well, it was a pleasure having someone else in the townhouse with me, even if you were mentally unstable... I mean-"

"Not just that, Gil. For everything."

Her passionate stare indicated everything she meant, and Gil found he couldn't look her in the eye, so he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I did what any one of us would have done. I mean, that man... he didn't..."

She squeezed his hand, "I know, Gil."

He smiled back at her, his eyes bloodshot. He couldn't say anything so he just nodded. She opened her arms, and finally, Gil broke down and started to cry into her hug. They remained embraced as the door opened and the doctor came in.

"Welcome back, Miss Sidle." The doctor said, and Gil and Sara looked up to see him standing there with the baby in his arms.

"Eight pounds, two ounces. She's a cutie."

He offered the baby to her, but she refused to accept it, so Gil offered his hands instead. He looked down and smiled.

"Oh, Sara, she's beautiful..."

Sara couldn't bring herself to look at her, and her eyes filled, yet again, with tears. She turned to the door, hoping Gil wouldn't see her, but just then, the door burst open and everyone piled in and saw the baby. Even Mrs. Sidle and Catherine, who were arguing again, stopped.

The baby was passed around, and didn't even cry once. Sara, for once, felt upstaged. It was a pleasant feeling. Mr. Sidle was sitting in the corner, and broke the happy atmosphere with a cold: "You're not planning on _keeping_ this baby, are you?"

Everyone froze in shock. Greg was holding the baby and hugged it closer to his chest, as if to protect her from his coldness.

"Excuse me?" Sara asked, her smile disappearing. Gil stood protectively, and grabbed her hand.

"This baby should have been aborted the moment Mr. Grissom found out."

For the first time, Sara felt a rush of maternal protectiveness for the baby she never cared for.

"I beg your pardon?" Greg asked from the corner. Mrs. Sidle looked torn between her husband and her daughter.

"I've seen that look before. That was the same look your mother had for your little sister."

Mrs. Sidle gasped and covered her mouth in shock, and Sara jerked with surprise.

"What? Dad, I don't have a little-"

"You don't?" He asked pointedly, and Sara just knew.

"You... you..." She was at a loss for words... "You're Pro-Life!" It was a stupid thing to say, she knew, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything more intelligent. Mrs. Sidle looked crushed as she remained covering her face.

"Mom?" Sara asked.

"Sara, baby, I would've kept her... but..."

Sara stared at her mother. "Why didn't you _tell me?_ Didn't I deserve to know? You're body is your business, but a sister...?"

Mr. Sidle stood and spoke harshly.

"I forbid you to keep this baby, Sara. You are in no shape to raise a baby by yourself. I forbid it."

"She won't be by herself." Gil said strongly, and Mr. Sidle's dark eyes locked onto him.

"And you would know? You're over fifty and have never been married or had kids. Not even Ms. Willows here can raise a child and keep a husband."

Catherine snorted in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

Sara couldn't believe it. "Mom?"

"Your father does have a point, Sara. Look at yourself. You can't walk. You don't have a man. Even you were planning on giving this child up."

"I think you should leave." Warrick said, and Nick stood next to him, saying, "I agree with Warrick. I think you two should leave."

"This is our daughter. You cannot-"

Greg joined in, "Yes, we can, and we will."

Mr. Sidle glared at the three strong men blocking his way. With a nod, he grabbed Mrs. Sidle harshly and dragged her to the door.

"Fine, but when this baby is old enough to be screwed up, she will be. Mark my words. You aren't a parent."

"Neither were you." Sara said quietly, voicing the opinion she has always kept repressed. For once, her father looked speechless. He shoved his wife out the door and left the room in silence.

Everyone was silent for a moment, and then Nick said, "I'm sorry you've lost your parents."

"I never had them."

Silence.

"How did they know?" Sara asked herself aloud, and everyone turned worried looks to her.

"Know what?" Catherine asked.

"... that I was planning on keeping her..." She finally realized it. "My baby... let me have my baby. I need my baby."

She looked as if she was on a verge of a panic attack, and Greg gently handed the baby over. Sara finally gazed upon her baby...

_My dream, I never asked for you, but you came... I never wanted you, but I needed you..._

-------------END-------------

Dare-Soñar: Big thanks to all who reviewed and to Cass-7 for beta-ing half of this story, lol. (NOT ";p;")

"I belong to the warrior to whom the old ways are joined to new." -"The Last Samurai"


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